


I'll be next to you when the lights go out

by willowthewitch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Porn with Feelings, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sibling Incest, and that Loki died in a better way but then Thor brought him back, more like pretending most of those movies never happened, rated E for smut but it is not particularly porny smut tbh it's all about the feelings, soft things, some very mild suggestions of PTSD, which Thor is this? EG!Thor? IW!Thor? idk you decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowthewitch/pseuds/willowthewitch
Summary: It wasn’t until after sundown that Thor began to worry. Loki could take care of himself, he knew that, but dinner had beenhoursago, and even if Loki had lost track of time (it stayed light so late this time of year, after all) surely his hunger would have tempted him home. He’d never been this late before.Thor worries. Loki reassures him.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 71





	I'll be next to you when the lights go out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ravenbringslight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbringslight/gifts).



> Title (and overall mood) from the song "Crescent City" by I'm With Her. 
> 
> Written as part of a holiday gift exchange for ravenbringslight, in whose honor naturally Loki had to turn into a bird :) 
> 
> Thank you as always to K, R, and A, for betaing/talking me down/yelling/generally being amazingly patient and supportive.
> 
> This is set nebulously after IW or Endgame, in an alternate version of events where Thor brought Loki (and Heimdall and co) back and they're all settled in Norway now. Feel free to assume anything else unsatisfactory from the movies (which, to me, is pretty much every part of them) is fixed as well.

It wasn’t until after sundown that Thor began to worry. Loki could take care of himself, he knew that, but dinner had been  _ hours _ ago, and even if Loki had lost track of time (it stayed light so late this time of year, after all) surely his hunger would have tempted him home. He’d never been this late before. 

Thor tried to let him come and go as he pleased; he didn’t ask where he went or why, mostly to respect his privacy and only a little bit for plausible deniability about whatever he was up to. He  _ trusted _ Loki now, and was determined to show it even when it pained him. Still… it was a struggle. This wasn’t the first time his fingers had itched for Stormbreaker, sorely tempted to go to Heimdall down in the settlement and ask him to find Loki. He just didn’t like to be apart, now. Things were finally  _ good, _ and they had so many years to make up for. It was perfectly reasonable. But Loki didn’t take well to being watched too carefully, even if Thor insisted he did it only out of interest and not distrust. 

So Thor was used to quashing the cold feeling in his chest when he woke and Loki wasn’t in bed beside him. As long as Loki was back there beside him come nightfall, he’d said—put more lewdly, since it was the only way he could express something so sentimental without being stabbed—and Loki had rolled his eyes, but he’d also always been back in plenty of time.

When Thor finally heard the light patter at the window, he’d already picked up Stormbreaker and set her back down three times, and been on his way for the fourth. He opened the shutter to see a magpie fluttering against the sill, not landing but pecking at the glass and retreating. As soon as Thor opened the window it flew right to the sofa, feathers glinting in the firelight, and then Loki was sprawling out on the cushions with one leg stretched across the length of them.

“I’m painfully aware of the irony of  _ me _ asking this, but could you bring me some ice,” he said, slightly breathless. 

Thor just frowned at him. “Can’t you… you know, make it yourself?” He’d seen Loki’s Jotun powers a few times, though now it was mostly when they worked together to make it snow for the children in the village. 

“I haven’t worked out the finer applications of… all that, and this is not the time to experiment. So I would be grateful if you could bring me some,  _ now,” _ Loki repeated, gritting his teeth. 

Thor frowned harder. “What’s wrong?”

“For fuck’s sake, Thor, I’m fine. Ice first, questions later,  _ please.” _

Despite the very obvious contradiction of those statements, Thor filled a glass with ice cubes from their refrigerator—it didn’t light up or talk the way Stark’s did, but the ice dispenser on the door was a clever innovation nonetheless—and returned to give it to Loki, taking the chair across from him when Loki didn’t move his leg to make space. 

“What’s wrong?” he insisted again, watching as Loki vanished his boot and began stuffing ice down his sock. “That seems…are you sure that’s how you should do that? Should I call for Eir?” 

“Nothing’s broken. She wouldn’t waste any energy on this, not now; she’d just tell me to use arnica and a triple dose of—whatever those Midgardian pills are, ‘Alleviate’ something, both of which we already have. And to apply ice.” 

It was true that Eir and her assistants were overworked, and with their limited resources they certainly wouldn’t waste a healing stone or any other precious remedy on something that would heal naturally. “Alright. I’ll, uh. Find the Alleviate.” Thor stood again awkwardly, watching Loki struggle with his sock for half a moment before going to the cupboard that served as the apothecary. All the rare ingredients were kept in one of Loki’s pocket dimensions, of course, but the ones that doubled as cooking herbs went in the kitchen. 

It took him a little while to find the pills— _ Aleve _ , he finally realized—and he wasn’t expecting the arnica to be in a squeezable tube, but eventually he brought them both to Loki with a glass of water. “What happened?”

“I lost my footing on some uneven terrain. It’s nothing, really. Just slowed me down a little.” 

Thor narrowed his eyes. It was almost certainly more severe than that if it hadn’t fully healed already, but he had never been able to tell when Loki was overstating an injury and when he was downplaying one. Considering this wasn’t an injury  _ done  _ to him by someone upon whom he could swear vengeance, it seemed likely that he was covering to avoid seeming weak. There was no chance Thor would get more from him until whatever embarrassment or shame he was feeling wore off a little. “Right. Well. You must be hungry,” he said instead.

“Starving,” Loki agreed. “Sorry I missed dinner. Did you eat all of it, in my absence?”

“I kept a plate warm for you,” Thor said, ignoring the dig. “Do you want me to help you to the table, or bring you a tray?” 

“Tray. I should keep this elevated, probably.” 

“Of course.” Once again Thor hurried off to the kitchen, making do with a baking sheet as a tray. 

He talked idly about his day while Loki ate slightly overcooked chicken and potatoes, filling him in on the goings on in the settlement, but his gaze returned again and again to the bulge of ice slowly melting through Loki’s sock. “That’s got to be the worst possible way to do that,” he said eventually, unable to contain himself anymore. “Will you please let me look at it?” 

“Hmm?” Loki followed Thor’s gaze and set his fork down. “Oh. I don’t really think you’re one to criticize, since I was only making do with what you gave me. But alright. By all means, do better.” He shifted his leg a little towards the back of the couch, making room for Thor to perch beside it. 

“Thank you.” Gingerly, Thor peeled off the sock and brushed the ice aside onto the cushion for the moment. The swelling wasn’t too bad, but the bruises were quite vivid on Loki’s pale skin, and he could make out the faint, raised red lines of scratches already healing over. In the dim light of the cabin, they looked almost like heritage lines, or veins popping out. Thor had seen Loki recover from a million injuries large and small, but this was the first time since—

_ Since—  _

_ “—Thor.” _ Loki tossed an ice cube at his head, pulling him from his memories. “When I said you could look at it, I didn’t think you meant to stare and nothing else.” 

“I’m sorry.” Thor cleared his throat, looking back down at the bruises. He poured out a dollop of the arnica salve into his palm and began to gingerly rub it into Loki’s skin, careful not to apply too much pressure. “Can you move it at all?”

“A bit. As I said, I’m certain nothing’s broken.” Loki wiggled his ankle a bit to demonstrate. Thor caught his heel and began to gently tilt his foot this way and that to test the various ligaments. “Yes,  _ ow, _ thank you, I’ve already established that it’s sprained, there’s— _ ow. _ Stop that. The treatment remains the same. No need to play healer.”

“Sorry,” Thor said again, softer. “I—I only want to help.” He stilled his hand, but didn’t release Loki’s ankle, watching his thumb rub softly over the bone. He had never felt as helpless as when he couldn’t protect Loki, couldn’t  _ save _ him—not in time, at least. Even after successfully bringing him back, he wasn’t any less terrified of it happening again.

“I know. Kærr.” The warmth in Loki’s voice was enough to get Thor to look up at him. Loki was watching him closely, eyebrows drawn up. “You’ve done plenty already.” It was clear he was no longer speaking of his ankle either; Thor had known his brother would see through him, but it still did something funny to his heart to have Loki look at him like that. The softness in those sharp features made him want to do something stupidly tender. 

Fortunately, Loki rescued him from the urge by nudging his hip with his good foot. “Just put the ice back on, and I’ll be fine. I  _ am _ fine.”

“I know you are.” And Thor  _ did, _ it was only… he understood, finally, how quickly that could change. 

“I see. You want me to prove it, hm?” Loki smirked at him. “I can still ride you as hard as ever—or fuck you as hard, if that suits your mood better.”

“I thought you were supposed to keep this elevated,” Thor replied, smiling faintly back, but he picked up a few of the ice cubes with the intention of using the sock as a bandage and frowned at the sad, shrunken shards. “And can you, uh, spell the ice not to melt, at least?”

“...Yes,” Loki said slowly, in that particular irritated tone that came out when he was furious he hadn’t thought of something first. 

“Wonderful.” Thor knew better than to laugh, however funny he found Loki’s expression. “How about I get you some bigger pieces to start with. And something dry to hold them.”

“Brilliant. If only you’d done that to begin with,” Loki said as Thor stood to go back to the kitchen, eager as ever to turn the attention back to Thor’s oversights instead of his own. There was no bite to it these days, though.

“You’re welcome,” Thor called back, unfazed. 

  
  


When Thor returned for the  _ third  _ time, now with the entire first aid kit, a dish towel, and another cup of ice, Loki was applying more arnica himself. He seemed calmer now, though Thor hadn’t realized he even seemed shaken before. It stung, a little—that Thor hadn’t noticed sooner, that Loki still worked so hard to hide these things—but noticing it now was still progress. 

“Is it feeling any better?” He set everything but the glass down on the cushion beside Loki.

“Somewhat.” Loki took the glass from him to charm the ice while Thor spread out the dish towel. Once they’d laid the ice out and made a halfway-decent ice pack Thor wrapped it carefully around Loki’s ankle, securing it with a gauze bandage and tucking a few more ice cubes in around the edges as he did. 

“Good?”

“It will have to do,” Loki sighed, moving his leg experimentally. “You’ll have to carry me everywhere, though.” 

“Of course.” Thor didn’t particularly mind that, really. “Where would you like me to take you?”

“Well, you  _ did _ say I should keep it elevated, so that rules out most of our more adventurous spots. On the bed will be fine.”

Thor laughed. “Happily. And shall I take you there now?”

“We’ve nothing better to do tonight, do we?”

“I can’t think of anything better, no,” Thor replied, achingly soft.

“Well go on, then,” Loki said, deliberately ignoring the sentiment. 

“Yes, Your Highness.” Thor grinned and crouched down beside Loki, wrapping one arm around his back and slipping the other under his knees. He was especially grateful, right now, that they didn’t have a second floor bedroom. Not that Loki was too heavy to carry, but his legs were so damn long that trying to fit through the doorway was hard enough, let alone if they’d had to go up a staircase. 

“Don’t mock me. I’m gravely injured.”

“You are  _ far _ too strong to consider a sprained ankle ‘gravely injured.’” He deposited Loki gently on their enormous bed. “And capable. You’re very capable. Speaking of which, could you take care of our clothes?”

“Of course.” The flattery seemed to have appeased Loki, at least. With a wave of his hand he had them both naked, and the clothes in a pile on the floor beside them. Thor glanced down at it. Perhaps Loki was not  _ entirely _ appeased. 

“I  _ know _ you could have hung them up.”

“Where’s the fun in that? Honestly, I can’t do everything for you.”

“If you wanted to see me bend over, all you had to do was ask,” Thor replied, teasing, but he leaned down and stopped any retort Loki might have made with a kiss. 

This seemed to be an acceptable alternative to Loki, at least; he wrapped an arm around Thor’s shoulders again, stroking Thor’s hair with the other hand and scratching his scalp in a way that sent shivers down Thor’s spine, just like it always did. 

He groaned into the kiss, and again when Loki seized the opportunity to deepen it; it was enough to distract Thor for a long moment. He was content to let Loki set the pace, running a hand softly along his side, feeling with satisfaction the way Loki had filled out slightly since Thor had started cooking for them both. 

Eventually though, the soft, needy sounds Loki was making had stoked the fire in Thor’s belly too high to ignore. He sat back a little and set Loki’s leg over his shoulder, stroking his knee with delicate fingers. “Does this count as elevated?” he teased with a grin, and pressed a kiss to the skin nearest to him. 

“It does if it means you’re getting to the point,” Loki replied, planting his uninjured foot on the bed.

Thor just hummed and kissed along Loki’s thigh to nuzzle at the crease below his hip. “Should I take that to mean you  _ don’t _ want me to suck you first?” 

“... I will allow it.” 

“Thank you.” Thor hid his smile against Loki’s hip, then kissed his way to where Loki’s cock was already hard and flushed against his stomach. He glanced up at Loki’s face as he took the tip in his mouth and sucked gently, watching as Loki’s bitten lip turned red and—well,  _ lush _ was perhaps a stretch, even after a kiss, but fuller than his usual, at least. The temptation to kiss it until it was slick and shining again was strong, but Thor quelled the urge by taking Loki deeper and sucking harder. It was a very effective move for both of them; Thor was sufficiently distracted, and Loki squirmed, back bowing off the bed as he tried desperately to keep from fucking up into the feeling. He was almost successful, but Thor pinned him down with an arm draped over his hips anyway to ensure he kept still no matter what tricks Thor pulled. 

He started off tracing various shapes with his tongue on the spot under the head, enjoying the breathy, indignant sounds Loki made when he couldn’t keep quiet any longer, the little jerk of his body when Thor pressed his tongue to the slit. Honestly, he’d have been happy to keep at it like that for quite a while, toying only with the head and not taking more than an inch in his mouth, but before too long Loki was pulling his hair demandingly—enough teasing, then. Obediently, he let Loki pull him closer, taking him deeper and then bobbing his head smoothly, working his way further along the shaft. It was easy to get lost in it, to go where Loki guided him, focused entirely on what could bring him the most pleasure without making him come too soon. By the time he had Loki’s whole cock down his throat he was deep in concentration—so much so that he choked spectacularly when something sharp and cold struck his back. 

Saved from worse, probably, by his expert warrior reflexes, he yelped and jolted back, sputtering.

“Calm down, it was  _ one _ ice cube.” Loki tugged impatiently on Thor’s hair—really, perhaps Thor should just wear it in twin braids, if Loki was determined to treat it like the reins of a horse.

“It just caught me by surprise.” Thor tucked the fallen cube back into Loki’s bandage and went back to work, only to be hit by two more a moment later. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

_ “Delightful _ as it is to hear you shriek, I’d never ruin my own pleasure for it.” Loki’s expression couldn’t be described as pouting exactly, but even so it was far more effective now than usual, since he finally had enough of a lower lip to manage it. He was absolutely lying, of course, but Thor thought he wasn’t causing it this particular time. Either way, there seemed only one thing to do about it.

“I think you’re going to need something under your leg, then,” he sighed, sitting up to reach for the pile of pillows behind Loki. 

“Yes, you’re right. If only my ankle were wrapped more securely! Really, this has got to be the worst possible way to do it,” Loki teased, his head tilted like a bird’s to watch Thor as he moved. “But it’s fine. Your bony shoulder was cutting off my circulation anyway.” 

“It’s muscle, not bone, but it’s true that they are very hard and solid. And large,” Thor replied, flexing playfully. He set two large pillows down under Loki’s calf and replaced the ice cubes again, then looked down at Loki. “Alright?” 

_ “Much _ better. Now come here,” Loki said, opening his arms to Thor. 

Thor stretched out happily over him, leaning in with a smile. The kiss was soft, at first—Thor was feeling helplessly tender at the moment, the lingering fear in his system driving him to reassure himself  _ thoroughly _ that Loki was alright. But Loki was of course a bit more worked up than he was, now, and had started arching up beneath him to grind against him, and moaning into the kiss, and it was very obvious what he was doing but it still worked. Thor gasped as Loki slotted their hips together just right, giving Thor’s own neglected cock some friction at last, and finally he broke the kiss with a curse and buried his face in Loki’s neck. “Can you spell yourself ready?” 

“Impatient, are we? Always such a brute. I already said I can’t do  _ everything _ for you,” Loki replied, contrary as ever.

“If you’ll prepare yourself quickly now, I’ll work you open on my tongue tomorrow,” Thor promised, as if he wasn’t already going to do that quite happily. Loki knew that too, of course, but he was clearly just as impatient as Thor was right now, if not more so. This was just giving them both what they wanted. 

“Ugh. Fine. Do as you will, I’m ready.” 

“Love that enthusiasm,” Thor teased, nipping gently at his neck and guiding Loki’s other leg around his waist. And then he was lining up and pushing in, the tight, silken heat of it exquisite as ever.  _ “Fuck. Loki.” _

_ “Yes,” _ Loki hissed, digging his heel in. “I’ll show you  _ enthusiasm, _ you ass. Come on,  _ fuck me, please, _ I need you  _ in me. _ Your cock feels  _ so good. Norns, Thor.” _

Thor bottomed out with a groan, kissing his way back up the edge of Loki’s jaw to recapture his mouth as he started moving. He kept it slow and sweet, enjoying the feel of Loki warm and real and  _ right there with him. _

It was far from the first time Thor had sought reassurance through sex; usually, though, when he felt this desperate for it the reason was something far worse than a sprained ankle and a late supper. He  _ knew _ that it was more than that now too, but still, it was alarming that something so utterly inconsequential could bring back so much pain. Loki seemed to understand it, at least; he was more willing to humor Thor tonight, holding him close and not demanding he go harder or faster as he often did. Perhaps they both needed this: the easy, gentle closeness, the feeling that this could go on forever, enjoying the journey and not just chasing release. 

Of course, it couldn’t  _ actually _ go on forever, and eventually Loki was pushing his hips up to meet Thor’s with little broken moans, and Thor was speeding up to something a bit more frantic, and breaking the kiss so that he could hear Loki clearly and watch him fall apart. It only took a few more moments: a little extra attention to the angle, a hand around his cock, some well-timed endearments, and Loki was throwing his head back and coming with a cry, grinning with fierce satisfaction.

No matter how many times Thor had watched it happen, the sight of Loki tipping over the edge always stirred something deep inside him. There was a primal satisfaction in giving Loki pleasure, of course, but also an overwhelming swell of affection each time, and gratitude that he was allowed to witness these bright, vulnerable moments with his normally guarded brother. It was as effective as the feeling now of Loki clenching around him; with that and the way he gasped Thor’s name, it was more than enough to send Thor over as well. 

_ “Loki.” _ Thor dropped his head down, touching their foreheads together as he pulsed through it.  _ “Norns, brother, _ you are—something else.” 

Loki ran soft, soothing hands down Thor’s back. “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment, although it was rather vague.”

That was a warning, though a soft one, and Thor heeded it with a chuckle. “It  _ is _ a compliment. You are… amazing, incredible, exquisite, and altogether…  _ beyond _ anyone else, on a level of your own, and I love you so much that I am consumed by it.” He kissed Loki softly. “Better?”

“Much. We’ll make an orator of you yet,” Loki murmured, kissing him back. There was an open, honest pleasure in his tone, and Thor thought hazily that he could very nearly get hard again just from his brother’s approval. He certainly felt drunk on it. 

But despite the peace and contentment settling over them both, Loki being open and honest was a rare opportunity to get answers Thor needed. Even in post-coital bliss Loki probably wasn’t quite soft enough to be  _ that _ honest yet, but Thor could get him there. He just needed to expose his own wounds first.

Slowly, gently, he pulled out and draped himself along Loki’s side, an arm over his chest and his lips pressed to Loki’s bony shoulder. “I know that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself,” he started softly. “You’ve proven it a thousand times over. It’s not any non-existent weakness or vulnerability on your part that makes me worry. But I still worry. When you were—”  _ dead _ “—gone, I spent so long imagining you here, and now when I wake up and you’re  _ not _ here I wonder if I never really brought you back, if all of this was just more imaginings. And even when I  _ know _ it’s real, I know… I know that it can change, that no matter how—” he swallowed roughly and took a steadying breath. “No matter how strong and capable you are, things can happen, and I hate that I’m not—that I can’t stop it.” Another breath. “I’m not trying to keep you from leaving. I know that this is my burden, not yours. I just—I hate seeing you hurt,” he admitted, voice breaking, “and I think I’m going to keep imagining the worst scenarios until I know what happened. Please.”

“You’re a fool,” Loki sighed, petting Thor’s hair lazily. “But so am I, sometimes. It  _ was _ uneven terrain. Some rocks slipped, a boulder moved, my ankle got stuck. And rather than doing…  _ any  _ of the reasonable things, I panicked. I don’t like being… trapped and in pain. I never did, of course, but now it makes me… an animal, I suppose. I shifted smaller, and got crushed further, so I—do you really need to know  _ all _ the details?  _ I _ made it worse, nobody else was involved, and after a long moment of mindless panic I finally remembered myself and obliterated the rock. Is that enough of an answer? Does it put your mind at ease?” His voice was sharp, embarrassed, but the hand on Thor’s head stayed gentle. “Really, did you think you were  _ more _ traumatized by my death than I am? Your arrogance knows no bounds. A little separation anxiety is nothing.”

Thor held him tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s plenty to be sorry for,” Loki agreed, though Thor was  _ reasonably _ sure it was a joke—or mostly a joke, at least. “But you’re wallowing over unnecessary things. You can’t keep me from being hurt. No one can. No one is ever fully safe from harm, and we know that now, and it’s awful.  _ But,” _ he said with a flourish, guiding Thor’s head up to look at him, “I know that you will do whatever it takes to fix it. Whether that’s bringing me ice or tearing the universe apart to bring me back. And I hope you know that I’d do the same.” 

“I do,” Thor said quickly, surging up to kiss him. “Of course I do. I trust you with my life. The less important things, like the laundry, or my dignity… maybe not always.” He grinned, brushing their noses together. “But I know. Thank you. And I will always do what I can to fix what needs fixing.”

“I know. You’re unbearable that way,” Loki sighed, tilting his face up for a kiss. “Though I could use some brute force on some of my errands, occasionally, if you’re not too busy with your important duties as King of the Village.” There was a new edge to Loki’s voice, and Thor let the dismissal of New Asgard—and just about everything he was—slide for the moment. Could Loki really be worried that Thor would say no? Surely not, when the invitation itself was clearly to soothe Thor’s own anxieties? But rejection still cut Loki deeper than many, Thor supposed, and opening himself for it must be as difficult as any physical vulnerability. 

“I’d love to,” he assured him. “Like old times.” 

“Hardly. I’m not letting you drag me along on any of your hare-brained quests.” Still, Loki shifted a little, turning awkwardly to face Thor. “But I suppose I’ll need to rest my ankle for a few days while I heal, so I won’t be going anywhere immediately, in any case. You can keep an eye on me while you cater to my every need.” 

Thor laughed. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.”   
  
  


The next time Thor woke to an otherwise empty house there was a note on the kitchen table, scrawled in a familiar hurried chicken scratch and tucked under an iridescent feather:

_ Don’t worry, you oaf, I’ll only be gone for a few hours. Heimdall will reach you if there’s any trouble. _

_ - L _

Thor huffed a laugh, tucked the note into his tunic, and went down to the village to find his friends. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't fit it anywhere in the fic itself, but please just know that Loki has all the pillows on the bed enchanted so that if Thor throws any of them they fly back at him with an equal amount of force, meaning he has to move them very delicately or get hit in the face. Sometimes, he uses this to play catch by himself when Loki's out and he's bored. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Likes and comments appreciated <3


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